In the habit…

In the habit

In the habit


Just a quick memory from the past.

I was about 9 years old and I’d just come home from the Sound of Music. Always the actress I’d pleaded for and received the cast recording and I couldn’t wait to put it on the gramophone! (Yes, Virginia I DO remember gramophones!)

Soon the house was alive with sound of me laboriously learning all the words to every song, slowly driving my long-suffering, but extremely patient mother to complete distraction. I think it got particularly painful when I got to “The Lonely Goatherd” which I warbled louder and louder until I arrived at the “yodel-ay-ee” chorus which I shouted from the family room, thoroughly out of tune and sounding more like a fat bull frog than a singing Austrian postulant.

For those of you who only know the movie of the Sound of Music, the opening sequence – Maria spinning round in a large meadow breaking into song – The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music….” the stage version is quite different. The two versions I saw both opened with a piece of scenery spinning round and Maria lying on her back kicking her heels in the air as the music swelled.

Three days later I solemnly asked my mom to come to a show. In the family room. While she knew it was going to be my very own version of the Sound of Music, with me singing almost every part in the show, and my younger siblings performing theirs, she clearly had no idea what we’d be wearing.

She also hadn’t remembered that she’d recently changed the floral curtains in one of our bedrooms – a fairly hideous blast of pink peonies on a cream background. She’d taken them down and left them in a bag near the door to go to Goodwill. Which is where I found them and put them to excellent use.

When the lights went on, there I was, lying on my back, kicking my pudgy legs in the air, singing my heart out to the gramophone. Then I stood up to reveal a nun’s habit, complete with white wimple, made from peony encrusted curtains. “What on earth..?’ my mother asked, her voice trailing off into laughter.

“I’m a nun”, I said very seriously as my flowers swirled crazily as I spun round.. “I’m the founding member of the first order of Jewish Nuns.”

We decided that I definitely had artistic license – and the peony covered nun’s habit has been a standing joke in our family ever since.

Bad Habits New Resolutions

New Year Resolutions that have been broken and abandoned litter my memories of New Year’s past. Like the rest of the flotsam and jetsam of my life, they’re locked in stinky dark, little corners with flags like “Diet” and “Eat Healthy” and “Call Home More Often,” drooping and listless. I used to make resolutions – as many as nine or ten when I was younger – but by the end of the first week of January it was abundantly clear that they were all forgotten and ignored.

So then I came up with a bright idea. I wouldn’t call them New Year’s Resolutions at all. Instead I called them “Bad Habits” that had to be broken. Habits like wearing a bathrobe round the house over my sleep T-shirt so that the neighbors or golfers couldn’t see me through the hedge and from the path at the end of the yard. Why they would want to was always a mystery to me but I was told year in year out by my husband that it’s much easier to see into a house than I would think. Especially at dusk or in the evening when the windows made my performance better lit than the last Broadway show we’d seen.

I still maintain that people have to want to stare in. And what possible jollies could they get from watching an over-middle-aged, over-weight, grey-haired woman sitting at a table with a laptop open in front of her, in a T-shirt that says I/O in big letters across the sadly sagging boobs. None of them could see through the screen of the laptop, nor would they know that I/O was a highly prized T-shirt from the last Google Developers Conference in 2014. 

But today as I sit tapping this into some new software I’m testing for my radio show, the curtain to the window is partially drawn to shield me from prying eyes even though I/O is accompanied by jeans and flip-flops. 

The bathrobe habit went the way of all New Year’s Resolutions. In two ways. One I didn’t wear it again after about 2 days and Two, I remembered to hang it up and not leave it gracefully adorning my bed/bookcase/sofa/ delete as applicable. So maybe the other Bad Habit – “Dealing with my Clutter” – was broken?


That “Clutter” habit – that’s the Smaug of all my good intentions and bad habits. I personally believe that everything I own has secret velcro attached to it, so that as soon as it comes into contact with anything else I own, it sticks to it, expanding the surface area it covers by a factor of 3. Within hours I’m buried under clutter – and so this year – 2015 – is the year that Bad Habit – will be tamed. 

At least that’s this year’s resolution.

Which will no doubt go the way of all the others.

Rinse and repeat.